i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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