wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
