awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I checked into jail on foursquare
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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