i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
