I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
