She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize