so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
