The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
