I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
