just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
