Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
