my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
