i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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