Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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