You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
