Your face is a jimmy john
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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