I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
