I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
