Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just pee around me
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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