okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
