I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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