The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
