I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
