OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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