Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
