where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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