Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
