HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
