JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
