just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
