Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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