I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
