I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
