how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
