So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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