I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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