what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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