Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize