Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Randomize
