I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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