think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
