I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
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