i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
