how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize