oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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