he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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