I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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