i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
No subtext here. People are naked.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize