so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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