Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
