rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
