I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
