Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
