Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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