think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
