Me. At least after what I've been through.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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