guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Two words: blizzard sex
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
