thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize