all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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