absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
