just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
