I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Randomize