I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
