i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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