i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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