Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
