She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
