please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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