OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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