as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
