Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
