I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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