He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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