lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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