how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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