This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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