so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The feeling are messing with the penis
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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