What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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