Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
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