Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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