Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize