I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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