Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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